The porch

Dear blog,

The cigarette smokers of this household have really outdone themselves this time. The front porch looks as though it is the home of 2 bums and a crackwhore. There is an inch of cigarette ash, 4 empty packs of smokes, 2 mysterious pills, 2 years worth of nicotine ridden loogie stains and enough paper dick butts to heat a medium sized home all winter long (supposing that the inhabitants were wearing gas masks and weren't killed by the fumes of burning cigarette butts.)

I don't know what it is the drives these sinister scumbags to be so utterly undriven that they can't empty their vile ashtray once in a while. It remains a mystery to me how smoking cigarettes makes people love squalor.

I don't think the cigs are killing them fast enough. I may have to intervene.

Thank you.