Friday, October 30, 2009

A very sloppy murder

Dear blog,

Today I walked out to the mailbox and was horrified to see what I could only liken to a scene from the movie "Alien."

After assuring myself that we're not being invaded by tiny aliens, I deduced that this macabre display could only be the scene of a slug's grisly murder.

Now, I'm no slug advocate. I think they are pretty vile little creatures. I'm not a fan of the little trails they leave all over the sidewalk either. However, I must point out that the perpetrator in this case had the balls to commit the murder, but lacked the sense, consideration, and decency to clean the nasty shit up!

Here's an idea... why not knock the slimy little sap OFF OF THE EXTERIOR OF OUR HOME before you turn him into a giant loogie!?

Thank you.


  1. hey i rember doing this very thing in washington, it was great fun....but it is much better in really speak of

  2. She did a good job of killing someone she doesn't know but as for following through with the rules of murder she did fail at the clean-up part. Also, arse has an "e" on the end.

  3. You really can't blame anyone for rapidly relinquishing such a deadly bowel movement. And as for cleaning up, impossible! considering you would have another larger pile of disgust lying right there next to the attempted clean up.